What is an aufruf?

The aufruf takes place at Shabbat services prior to the wedding. A couple who is about to be married is honored by reciting the blessings for the reading of the Torah. After the couple receives this honor, the congregation will sing and throw candy to shower them with wishes for a sweet start to their marriage. We will be having an aufruf on Saturday, April 5 at our congregation, Beth Hillel Congregation Bnai Emunah in Wilmette.

What is kabbalat panim?

The kabbalat panim (literally “receiving of the faces”) is a reception held before the wedding ceremony. Arriving guests will come to greet Rachel, who will be surrounded by loved ones. In more traditional communities, this is a women’s reception for the bride, as the couple will not have seen each other for the week prior to the wedding. However, we will have seen each other prior to the kabbalat panim and guests of both genders are encouraged to enjoy the reception and greet Rachel and one another.

What is a tish?

The chatan’s tish (literally, “the groom’s table”) is traditionally the groom’s reception prior to the ceremony. At the tish, Michael will deliver a brief sermon while being jovially heckled and interrupted in song and dance so that he cannot finish his talk! Many egalitarian couples today opt to have both a tish for the bride and a tish for the groom; however, we have elected for only Michael to have a tish. After the tish is over, Michael will be danced over to Rachel for the ketubah signing and bedeken.

What is a ketubah?

The ketubah is the Jewish marriage contract. Written in Aramaic, it details the moral and financial obligations of a husband to a wife and is signed by two witnesses. In traditional communities, this occurs during the groom’s tish, where only men are present. However, as both of us would like to be present at the signing of our ketubah, it will be done together after the tish and prior to the bedeken.

What is the bedeken?

After Michael is danced over to Rachel, and after the ketubah is signed, Michael will place a veil over Rachel’s face. This action recalls how the biblical matriarch Rebecca veiled herself upon seeing Isaac. In addition, by placing the veil over Rachel, Michael is verifying that she is the correct person so he will not find himself in the same situation as the biblical patriarch Jacob, who accidentally married Leah instead of his intended bride Rachel.

What will happen during the ceremony?

The marriage ceremony takes place under a chuppah (wedding canopy). After Rachel enters the chuppah she will circle Michael, symbolically building the walls of their home. The wedding ceremony is composed of two basic parts: kiddushin (betrothal) and nissuin (marriage). The kiddushin begins with the several introductory blessings. Michael and Rachel will then exchange rings. The ketubah is then read aloud in Aramaic, and given to Rachel as a sign that she accepts Michael’s offer of marriage. The next part, nissuin, involves the reciting of the sheva brachot, the seven weddings blessings, which will be recited in English and Hebrew.

The wedding ceremony ends with Michael breaking a glass to symbolize the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. As the glass shatters, everyone traditionally shouts, “Mazel Tov!” It is customary to clap and sing joyously while escorting Rachel and Michael from the chuppah. They will be danced to a private room where they will spend their first few moments as husband and wife alone together.